The past year my husband and I have been challenged with my little boy of three years old wearing dresses. I say ‘challenged’, because even though many might say it is nothing and just a phase, we have had to face the disapproval of loved ones. Despite this disapproval, it is understandably also hard for my husband (a real farm boy!) to come to terms with, as he really wants to love and accept Alex as he is (and encourage what makes that little heart happy), but we live in a society entrenched in gender divisions of male-blue-strong and female-pink-weak.
I have turned to my Lighthouse and I have been trying to find an answer – I have been yes/no, yes/no on this matter too much. God has showed me Jesus – who was Jesus? What does the Bible show us about Jesus? Well, everything that the Word teaches me about the kind of person Jesus is just confirmed to me that there is nothing wrong with Alex wearing a dress…
Try to imagine Jesus on earth, and a little boy running up to him with the biggest biggest smile and showing him with great pride his beautiful (sister’s!) dress that he is wearing. The little boy’s eyes are so bright. His smile is so big. He wants Jesus to look at his dress and give him a smile so full of love before he will run off again and play. I can only imagine Jesus rubbing this little boy’s head and laughing with him. I cannot imagine the Jesus I have come to know in the New Testament breaking this little boy’s heart. And that is what happens when we take away Alex’s dress… his little world falls apart. I have never seen my little boy so sad, so inconsolable, as when his dress gets taken away. He doesn’t understand. And quite frankly, it doesn’t really make sense that little girls are allowed to play with whatever they like and wear whatever they want, but little boys are not.
We have decided to ‘let Alex be’ – the less fuss we make of it, the smaller the chance that he will one day feel he will have to wear dresses (or do anything he thinks we might disapprove of) in secret. And if he turns out to be a dress-wearing adult (which I doubt), he will know that his mom and dad love him unconditionally and that he can share anything with us.
Lots of love,