Questioning, Pondering, Wondering…
Doesn’t it seem that we are always looking for answers to life? How much effort is enough? How should I live my life? What should I do about this or that?
How much should I eat? Am I eating too much? How do you know what is balanced? What is the ideal way to live my life? Am I making the most of my life? Am I too boring or am I balanced and responsible?
Is it okay that I am shy – is it just who I am? Or do I have a low self-esteem and should I just get over it, stand up and be a ‘man’? In other words – do I embrace who I think I am and is who I think I am really who I am?
Will I be with my husband in heaven? Will I be able to sleep in the same bed with him? By the way, what will we be doing in heaven all the time? What will we be eating and how much? Will there be exercise classes and will we be eating pancakes?
Am I suppose to be sitting here typing or should I rather be walking outside in the sun? Am I wasting time or am I worrying too much? And how do I stop thinking of all thee things? And should I even stop wondering about all these things?
Questions like these can make us crazy and restless. They play over an over in my head without ever leaving me to rest! People say that I should worry less and that I am silly to wonder about these things… They call me an over-thinker.
I have realised that not everyone experiences life in questions as I do. And for those who do not look at life that way, it all seems quit simple – you don’t need to know all those things. They seem to have mastered the art of living in the now.
See, that is something I have heard so much about – living in the now – but I am finding it almost impossible to do it! The moment I try to tell myself to focus on the moment, I know I won’t succeed for too long. For example: we are on the family farm at the moment, and as we are driving through the most beautiful orchards covered in soft orange sunsets and cattle grazing peacefully in the golden mist of the setting sun through the trees (see photo), I can’t help but think of all my questions! They just pop up and I can’t seem to control them. I don’t need to repeat any of these questions – I have listed just a few above!
How do we ever know that we are busy doing the right thing? How do we ever find the ultimate key, the ultimate answer, the ultimate guidebook to life and the ultimate seven steps to the best you? Is life even supposed to be this tricky? Am I making any sense at all?
I don’t know… what do you think? How do we best manage ourselves and our lives?
Questioning, pondering and wondering…