Nicolette Writes

Professional Freelance Writer and Stay-at-Home Mom

Bad Wolf! Bad Wolf!


Today I am in a very strange mood… I feel nervous, I want to rest, I want (I have) to clean the house, I want to cry, I want to sleep, I want to walk in the sun with the puppy – I am just confused!

Have you ever felt so confused before? It feels like I can experience a hundred emotions at the same time.

Today I am not going to blog on any specific topic. I will put up one of my articles later this week. I guess I just want to share where I am at and you are welcome to reply with your own stories.

So… what’s on my mind?! Pregnancy! My husband and I have been talking about it lately and I can’t help but wonder: when is the right time? Some people say there is never a right time… Am I too young, too emotional, too scatter-brained to have a child at 28?

I have a belly-ring, tattoo, love Thirty Seconds to Mars… does that sound like a mommy? Oh boy, I am just chatting with you as I go! What if having a baby changes my life in a way I can’t handle… When will I go for a run? When will I go on a date with my husband? What about weekends away? I guess you can still do all those things… but will it change my relationship with my husband?

Help! Haha – all mommies, advice is welcome. Not that I am pregnant or anything… Maybe when I am blessed with being pregnant, I will blog about it every week, and then other people can check and see if their week 5, 6, and so on is the same… 🙂

Okay, now I am back to experiencing a hundred emotions all at once. I want to walk in the sun, I want to go for coffee, I want to cry, I want to listen to music and be at peace, etc, etc, etc! Ha!

Crazy woman! 😉 Maybe I am just a women who runs with the wolves… have you read the book? If you are quite in touch with your artistic and spiritual self (and don’t be afraid of these ‘airy-fairy’ terms, I am a Christian girl raised in the Dutch Reformed Church!), this book will teach you valuable lessons:

“SO I say to you with affection, imagistically — be you a Black wolf, a Northern Gray, a
Southern Red, or an Arctic White — you are the quintessential instinctual criatura.
Although some might really prefer you to behave yourself and not climb all over the
furniture in joy or all over people in welcome, do it anyway. Some will draw back from
you in fear and disgust. Your lover, however, will cherish this new aspect of you — if
he or she be the right lover for you. Some people will not like it if you take a sniff at
everything to see what it is. And for heaven’s sakes, no lying on your back with your
feet up in the air. Bad girl. Bad wolf. Bad dog. Right? Wrong. Go ahead. Enjoy
yourself.”
(Clarissa Pinkola Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves)

Maybe I am not making sense today at all! Perhaps I am just being a bad wolf today… Bad wolf! Bad wolf! Get yourself together. Ha! Whatever… 😉

Love
Nicolette

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8 thoughts on “Bad Wolf! Bad Wolf!

  1. Yep finding our true selves is a wonderful yet bumpy journey! I read that book about 8 years ago and definitely need to re-read it. It threw my brain into overdrive,I remember that. You are a beautiful gifted writer, you know! See you soon 🙂

    • Ah Karon! Thank you for your comment! The Artist Way is helping me a lot regarding not being afraid of expressing myself – I don’t have to publish a perfect essay on my blog. I just come to the ‘paper’ and let the art find me 🙂

      See you soon dear friend* Thanks for all the love you send my way!

      Nicolette

  2. Nicolette's husband on said:

    Well written as always. Love you ***

    • Dear Nicolette’s husband! Haha…

      Thank you! And thank you for allowing me and making it possible for me to do what I love* I love you too my most precious gift!

      The Red Wolf 🙂

  3. zoubida on said:

    Dear Nicolette, i missed your writing so much! im a huge fan. As far as your hundred emotions are concerned, consider yourself prepared for pregnancy (hormones!). No, seriously, nobody is able to tell u when u are ready, u just feel it in the deepest part of your heart and bones. To be or not to be a good mommy? Babies need one thing: unconditional love… And Im sure that wont be a problem for u to give pure love. Of course, your life will change but it’s up to you to let it change in the most beautiful way. We raise kids, but our kids raise us too. They show u life like u never seen it before. But keep on wondering, it’s healthy. And bad parents, i think, are those who never question themselves…

    Love. Zoubida.

    • Dear Zoubida!

      Thank you for the compliment, and thank you for leaving a comment! I found your words: ‘bad parents… are those who never question themselves…’ very comforting! I am constantly questioning myself, and I am sure that even when I am raising a child, I will constantly be re-evaluating things 🙂 And I do love thinking outside the box… The danger indeed lies in not being willing to change at all. I read this quote, I can’t remember the exact words, but it says something like: ‘Do not confine your children to your own learning…’ I never want to forget that!

      I am still going to DM you later today about something***

      Love, always!
      Nicolette

  4. Dearest Nicolette!

    If you weren’t questioning yourself and everything, I would be a bit worried! I completely agree with Zoubida that bad parents are the ones that never question themselves.

    So question away, red wolf! Enjoy!

    And yes, a woman who has a belly ring, a tattoo, and loves 30 Seconds to Mars definitely sounds like a mommy! An awesome mommy. Especially one with a heart as full of love as yours!

    There’s so much to say about this! I suppose I shouldn’t write too long of a comment on here, so I’ll send you a DM 🙂

    Love you, chica!
    Zoe

    • Dear Zoe!

      Thank you for your lovely comment! Yeah! I just started my Monday and reading this, especially the part where you say ‘a woman who has a belly ring, a tattoo, and loves 30 Seconds to Mars definitely sounds like a mommy! An awesome mommy!’

      You have kick-started my week!
      It’s almost 7am here and I am ready to do Couch-to-5k in a little while – just waiting for it to become a little lighter. Will send you a private message later about the exercise thing***

      Love – ALWAYS!

      Nicolette

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