Holidays… hmmm – I always find them more stressful than relaxing! My husband and I spend our long holidays with the two different families, as we live far away and thus rarely see them throughout the year.
But putting different families together with entirely different ways of perceiving the world can make a holiday exhausting. I cringe everytime I hear someone call a black man a ‘boy’ or when someone talk about ‘those people’. Keeping your own opinion about these matters to yourself for three weeks is no easy task! So I end up seriously needing to head back home at the end of our time away – needing a HOLIDAY!
My husband, on the other hand, does not find holidays such as these stressful. He tells me I am oversensitive and that I see things that aren’t there – or that I should just not worry so much about everything and not let myself get upset so easily. Yet, I can’t get myself to ‘chill’ about life in general…So, I guess I am wondering: is my attitude bad, or is it okay – to be so sensitive about certain topics and to feel so serious about specific, say political, matters? It’s probably not worth estranging family members for the sake of making your opinion clear (such as the fact that black people aren’t inherently bad), but keeping quiet might lead to me being checked in at some kind of mental health institution… Seriously!
I found myself wanting to pray this morning: Lord, please set me free from all this stress (thinking of the Scripture that says that when the Lord sets you free you will be free indeed). But then I found myself not praying it – because what if the Lord indeed sets me free from worries about these things (for example, people making racist comments?). It doesn’t make sense… how can I just let things (important matters) go, when I know they are wrong, for the sake of peace? HOW do you find the balance between ‘letting go’ and standing up for what you believe in – especially when it comes to loved/close ones?