I desperately feel the need to blog… but I also don’t have the strength to write. So what am I to do? I will just list a few one-liners, as in this way, I will be writing without having to put much effort into elaborating. So here goes my bullet point blog:
I am a mother and it feels good. I love walking around the house with Alex on my hip.
I love breast feeding time. I hate it when breast feeding time doesn’t work out and I end up giving Alex a bottle of milk.
I am trying to declutter the house and find peace in my heart and with God. I am trying to find God. I am trying to understand why He doesn’t respond when we call out to Him, when the Bible tells us He answers those who call to Him.
I am thankful. I am happy. I am desperate and frustrated and afraid.
I want to and I don’t want to.
I don’t understand myself.
I should probably end this blog entry with a happy line or a catchy and motivational line… Hmmmm… I can’t think of anything inspirational, so Iet me open my twitter account and take the first inspirational quote on my wall and paste it here. I’ll reference the source so as to avoid plagiarising 😉
‘Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do’ – John Wooden.
I can’t force Alex out of his nipple confusion, but I can… what can I? What can I do? Nah, this quote isn’t doing it for me. I’ll look for another one. Bear with me (at this stage I am not sure whether this post will have an ‘aha’ moment… yikes, the pressure is up!)
Here – I think I like this: ‘Don’t run from challenge. Seek it out, and get stronger, more capable, more experienced, more effective.’ -Ralph Marston.
I cannot force Alex over his nipple confusion, but I CAN (and so the first quote comes in here – I’ll focus on what I CAN do), I CAN see this as a challenge to read about this issue, to do some research on the topic and seek some advice and not just give up. Now let me go make some tea and settle down with my heap of baby books… I’m taking on this challenge, and I WILL become more experienced, more capable and stronger!
And Lord, if I can find you in the process… I would be SO happy.